Our Wedding: Postponed

A little over two weeks ago I wrote a post: Will we get married this year? It turns out that the answer is no. About a week after I published that post, Les and I made the difficult decision to postpone our September 5, 2020 wedding.

As I said a few weeks ago, we were growing more and more uneasy, primarily at the prospect of not only having to postpone our 2020 wedding, but at the idea of not being able to have our wedding in 2021 because of our venue's limited availability. After we learned that there was only one Saturday available next year in mid-October, we decided we would try to hold out a little longer to get a better feel for how September of this year was looking.

Fast forward a few days, many more discussions, and looking at projections for Massachusetts, we became pretty convinced that we weren't going to be able to have the wedding we dreamed of this September. We just weren't sure how our friends and family would feel about coming to such a big gathering, and if we would need to somehow alter food service, wear masks, or try to maintain physical distance.

Our new plan was to keep monitoring the number of Fridays and Sundays left on our venue's 2021 calendar until we absolutely had to make a decision to postpone our wedding. We didn't love the idea of either option, not knowing how many of our friends and family members would need to or be able to take time off from work to come to our wedding. But, if that was the only way we could get married at Misselwood in 2021, we would take it. After reaching back out to get a pulse on how much the Friday/Sunday calendar had changed since we last spoke, we actually learned that the couple that had Saturday, 9/4/21 on hold for the past week hadn't yet turned in their contract— and it was due that night. If they didn't turn it in, we would have less than a day to decide if we wanted to take the date and postpone our wedding a whole year.

Les and I spent all day talking it over with our parents, weighing our options. On the one hand, things could be 100% fine by this September. But if we passed on the new date and then found out a few weeks or months later we couldn't get married this year, we would have been crushed. The more we talked it over, the more we decided it was more or less a sign. I mentioned this in my last wedding post, but Les and I were interested in 9/4/21 in particular because it marks ten years to the day since we met at the start of our first year in college. It seemed like a miracle that we had the prospect of getting a Saturday at the previously sold-out-in-2021 Misselwood, let alone THAT Saturday. It would also mean that we could get married on the same weekend we had wanted to, just a year later.

By that evening, we had decided if the date did in fact open back up, we would take it. The next hours, into the morning, were somewhat agonizing. I had all but convinced myself that the other couple would turn their contract in. Of course they would. Why wouldn't they? But as it got later into the evening, I was wondering why they would wait until so last minute to do so. Maybe they had actually gone with another venue and just hadn't told Misselwood yet.

When I woke up in the morning, I very hesitantly emailed the coordinator at Misselwood, letting her know I was pretty scared to ask: did the other couple sign their contract?

Twenty minutes later I get an email: "I just love suspense.............."

Another minute later: "Don't you..... :)"

I knew we had it. I couldn't believe it. I honestly felt like we had just gotten engaged all over again. The date was ours if we wanted it... and we took it.

That whole day I was on Cloud 9. I could not believe our luck that the very date that meant so much to us opened up again. More than that, when we first learned that the new date might be back on the table, I spent the whole day reaching out to all of our vendors to ask what their policies were if we needed to postpone our wedding, and if they had the new date available. I was stunned that vendor after vendor responded that yes, they were available on September 4, 2021, and that they would absolutely move our deposits and all monies paid to our new date. Even Artifact Uprising, who printed our beautiful guest book that I shared on Friday, offered to let us print a brand new one when I asked about re-binding it with our new date printed on the side (in place of our old date). And, Minted gave us a 50% discount on printing "change the date" cards. The response from each vendor, especially our venue, during such a hard time has meant a lot to us.

With a tight budget, and a lot of our wedding already paid for, I'm not sure what we would have done if we had lost all of our deposits. The one vendor we weren't able to re-book, unfortunately, was our photographer, but Les and I could not be more excited about the new husband and wife team we're working with! I'm hoping they'll agree to let me share a little bit more about them in the near future.

And while I can say that we truly are so happy and grateful, we also woke up the morning after making the decision feeling a little less elated. I think we were so happy and relieved to secure our new date that we hadn't really allowed ourselves time to process the fact that we wouldn't be getting married this year. The wedding we've been planning for a year and a half was going to have to wait almost another year and a half. We went from around 130 days until our wedding to almost 500. The most challenging part is that we feel SO ready to be married. We want to wear our rings and be husband and wife.

I had that same sense of sadness when we went to pick up my dress last weekend. I had emailed the salon where I bought my gown letting them know that we had postponed the wedding and to cancel my already-rescheduled June dress fitting. They responded and asked me if I could pick up my dress and then bring it back next year when it was time to start fittings— normally they store your gown right up until your wedding day, but I don't think they have the space to store all of the excess gowns from so many postponed weddings. And maybe it's less of a liability to hold on to a gown for more than a year and a half.

We just happened to be making another trip home last Saturday to pick up all of our mail and check on our apartment, so we swung by to pick up my dress, too. I know it's not the case at all, but I felt like I was being kicked out of the club, and that my wedding didn't matter anymore. Picking up your gown is one of the most exciting moments for a bride, but instead it was deflating for me. But, I know I'll be thrilled when I can go back to Cristina's next spring or summer for my fittings and get right back into the swing of it all.

Of course we've talked abut still getting married in a small ceremony this September with just our families. But as excited as I was at first about the idea of a small, romantic elopement on my parent's sailboat or on their dock in Maine, I started to think more and more about what that would mean for our 2021 wedding. I know it would absolutely still be a special celebration with all of our friends and family, but we wouldn't be able to wake up on the morning of our wedding and say, "We're getting married today!" We would already be married. We wouldn't have that grand introduction into our reception for our first dance as husband and wife. We would have already danced. We wouldn't have that "I can't believe we're married" feeling after a full day and night of reveling and being surrounded by the people who matter most to us. These are all just little nuances, but I never really realized how much they mattered to me before.

So while I can't say we won't change our minds about legally saying "I do" this fall, I can say that I know our wedding day will be so worth the wait. With everything else that's going on in the world, how lucky am I to be marrying my best friend? And while a 2+ year engagement wasn't the plan, I know it will make our wedding that much more special when it's finally here.

To the family and friends who reached out to us, or took a few moments to respond to any of our messages letting you know about our decision, thank you so, so much for the support. It means more than you know.

Restart the clock: 481 days.


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