Will we get married this year?

I want to start this post by saying that by no means do I think that weddings (and mine in particular) are more important than anything else anyone is struggling with right now... health-wise or financially. I know there are people who can't see and comfort their sick loved-ones; I know there are parents trying to homeschool multiple kids while also working from home; I know there are medical personnel who are exhausted, disheartened by the recent protests, and separated from their families out of fear of infecting them. I know there are essential workers who are struggling internally with the notion of feeling lucky to still have a job, but unlucky that theirs is one that still requires them to put themselves at risk for the general population, let alone a population that, at least in part (hopefully a very small part) are defying public good by protesting orders meant to protect. (Can you tell that I'm feeling pretty incensed about these protests and their participants...)

Right now, just like everyone, I'm worrying about and hoping that all of my friends and family are staying safe. I would be lying, though, if I said I wasn't also starting to stress a little about our wedding in September.

photo by Kelly Dillon Photography

For the longest time I kept thinking, "oh we'll be totally fine by September." Even my June bridal shower I wasn't initially worried about, or my first dress fitting on May 2nd. (The fitting has been postponed... the shower likely will be, too). I was reassured because summer 2020 brides were rescheduling their weddings to the fall, and the Boston Marathon was postponed to September 14. So someone, somewhere, has to have faith that we'll be ok by September, right?

But the date at which it seems we'll be "out of the woods" and back to normalcy keeps getting pushed back. Who's to say that these summer-turned-fall weddings and events like the Marathon aren't postponed a second time? No one. That's the troubling part, too. There's no one that can really offer any expertise right now on whether or not we should postpone our wedding; no one knows what everything will look like in five months. Will we even be legally allowed to hold gatherings of that size by September? And if we are, will some of our family and friends choose not to come?

And, even if we do decide to postpone our wedding, our options are limited. I think that's the part that's stressing me out the most. I had been going back and forth on whether or not to reach out to and check-in with our venue; I figured that it was probably too soon to make any decisions about September, and I knew that they were likely trying to support their May and June brides. But yesterday morning in the shower I finally thought "why not just reach out and ask about a September 2021 date." In particular, I decided to ask if Saturday, September 4, 2021 was available because it would mark 10 years to the day since Les and I first met (aka the day that changed my life.)

photo by Kelly Dillon Photography

I finished my shower, got dressed, and then sent off my email to our venue. Two hours later my heart sank. September 4, 2021 was taken that morning. Les's response? He thinks that's a sign that we're meant to stick with our original date this fall.

My response?

"Ok, so that date is off the table. What September 2021 dates are left?"

A few Fridays and Sundays.

"What Saturdays in 2021 are leftany in August?"

Only one Saturday remains available in all of 2021. It's in mid-October but you would have to make a decision pretty quickly.

(I should note here that our wedding planner at Misselwood was nothing but graceful and supportive in her replies, providing us with options. The team there is incredible and it's no surprise that their dates sell out quickly, even in a normal year. It's also worth noting that a reception of our size would be hosted in the Misselwood tent, which is seasonal and only available for weddings May through mid-October).

photo by Kelly Dillon Photography

So here's the thing... and here's why I'm most uneasy at this point. The thought of postponing our wedding an entire year seemed like it would never happen; but again as our return to normalcy seems to keep getting pushed back, I actually started to welcome the idea of just eliminating the stress of do-we-don't-we, and having to wonder:

Will we be able to have our wedding as planned, legally;

Will we be able to have our wedding as planned, guilt- and worry-free;

And if we are able to have our wedding as planned, will our friends and family come?

Not having to worry about any of the above made postponing to 2021 seem like a pretty good option.

But after learning that our 2021 options at our venue are so limited (and rapidly diminishing) that's what I think is saddening me the most. The thought of not being able to get married this fall wasn't so scary with the comfort of knowing that we could always just do it next year. But with our venue's dates almost entirely sold-out, does that mean we would wait and get married there in 2022? Would that even make sense? Would I want the same dress by then? Would we be closer to wanting to start a family and would a big wedding celebration seem less important?

Would we still aim for 2021 but plan an entirely different wedding at a different venue, if we could even find a 2021 date? I think they'll be hard to come-by anywhere because of the number of spring and summer 2020 brides who have already had to, and will need to, reschedule.

Would we still legally get married this September and host a reception at a later date at somewhere like my parent's house? This is the one scenario that does at least bring me some hope.

But for now, I'm pouring all of my hope into the world starting to heal, people STAYING HOME so that we can beat this sooner, and our loved ones being able to gather with us this September for our wedding at Misselwood.

photo by Kelly Dillon Photography


Subscribe to new posts:

Thanks for signing up!